Anyone else think it’s time we officially start panicking about global warming? The high temperature is predicted to be 73 degrees on Christmas Eve, and 63 degrees on Christmas. Because we’re not looking at a “chestnuts roasting on an open fire” sort of atmosphere, here are five alternative ways of celebrating Christmas:
Throw the whole damn turkey on the grill. Put Dad in an apron and have Uncle Danny make the barbecue sauce. Pop open a few cold ones, because you know, it will be way too hot to drink hot cider and the egg nog will end up smelling like sour milk very quickly.
If you’re like most New Yorkers and don’t own a barbecue, make Christmas dinner into a picnic in Central Park. Just skip to the leftovers stage, and bring turkey sandwiches smothered with gravy. All you need are some Mike’s Hards to make it complete.
3. Re-enact The Last Giant’s Game
Pick-up football games don’t have to just be for Thanksgiving anymore, now that Christmas will take place in fall/summer. Take a break from the Christmas pageant this year, and instead have your relatives act out the story of Odell Beckham Jr. Bonus points if you can replicate the catch in the picture.
4. Take A Sail Around Manhattan
There might not be any commercial booze cruises running on Christmas Day, but Hornblower is setting sail the day after, when it will still be pretty warm. Tickets are on sale on the Fever app. Enjoy the weather, the views, and settle into the good vibes in between Christmas and New Year’s Eve.
5. Just Pretend It’s Not Christmas
This one’s for all you scrooges out there who always want to pretend it’s not Christmas but have a hard time doing that because the weather is so snowy and cold. Take a walk in the park, buy a hotdog, and eat it on a bench while saying fuck the whole damn thing.
Cover photo credit: Maëlick/Flickr