×

TYPE IN YOUR SEARCH AND PRESS ENTER

Loading...
Culture

If Taylor Swift’s “Welcome To New York” Had Realistic Lyrics

Katherine Ripley Katherine Ripley

If Taylor Swift’s “Welcome To New York” Had Realistic Lyrics

 

We love you, Taylor. But NYC is not a glamorous walk in the park for everyone. How about this more realistic version:

 

Welcome to New York

It could take you or leave you

Welcome to New York

You could turn around tomorrow and everything would go on just fine without you

 

It’s a new soundtrack of car horns and ambulance sirens

The lights are so bright that you’ll never see the stars again

 

When you first drop your bags on the apartment floor

Say goodbye to central AC and any sense of privacy

Everybody here wishes they had more money

Your one bedroom on Central Park West will always be a distant dream

 

Welcome to New York

Be ready with one month’s deposit

Welcome to New York

Just try and figure out our subway system

 

It’s a new soundtrack of change jingling at the bottom of your piggy bank

The lights are so bright that Times Square looks like daytime at 2am

 

Welcome to New York

It’s been waiting for your income tax

Welcome to New York

It seems liberal but Mayor De Blasio is afraid of women’s breasts

 

Like any great love

It tears you apart from the inside out

Like any real love

It will seduce you and then steal all your money

Like any true love

You’re sure to get lost in it

And there are several things you want to change but you lie to yourself and say it’s perfect

 

Welcome to New York

You’ll suffer through it because it’s cool

Welcome to New York

Welcome to New York

 

Cover photo credit: Ultra 5280/Flickr

Tags: Funny, Music