New York City can be a challenging place to live at the best of times, so if you throw a bunch of New Yorkers into a building together for upwards of eight hours a day and you can imagine the result. Here are 18 tweets that sum up office work here in the city… not at SecretNYC, of course *ahem* …the people here are great…
Change the record Todd!
I wonder how many consecutive Mondays Todd will respond “not long enough” in regards to how his weekend was. We’re at 7.
— Mel Owens (@melowens) November 9, 2015
…Office Life isn’t for me
my co-worker got a new apartment & i told her about the guy who got decapitated in her neighborhood last week. office life isn’t for me.
— SUE SMITH (@suesmith666) June 4, 2015
Making Friends in the office isn’t easy.
Please ignore this tweet, I’m pretending to be adding a coworker’s phone number.
— Miss Malbec (@MissMalbec) May 12, 2014
Merciful Jesus, THANK YOU!
[walks up to coworker’s desk]
I know I don’t say this often enough, but thank you for not showing me pictures of your kids.
— Sarcasticsapien (@Sarcasticsapien) January 19, 2015
We all have this colleague who, we hope, quits his job so everyone in the office is happy. If you don’t know any such person, quit your job.
— pnkj (@AskThePankazzzz) May 15, 2014
That awkward moment…
Accidentally made eye contact w/co-worker thru bathroom stall door crack. Didn’t know what to do so I blew him a kiss
— Mayor P (@punmagnate) August 19, 2013
shhhh! Not until I’ve had a coffee!
[waiting for elevator]
Coworker: Hey, how’s it go-
Me: I’ll take the stairs.
— moody monday (@mdob11) December 26, 2014
Really? That’s the easiest way?
Office fun: replace your coworker’s mouse with a larger mouse so he thinks his hands are shrinking then call him “baby hands” until he quits
— vineyille (@vineyille) July 16, 2013
A thing I learned at this week’s staff meeting is I like to cuddle as I fall asleep.
— Just Bill (@WilliamAder) April 20, 2016
I told all my colleagues at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.
— Sweet Slips (@Ndeshi_M) May 14, 2015
Honesty is everything
Coworker: Do you ever think about work at home?
Me: I don’t even think about work at work.
— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 18, 2016
Lunch is “me-time”!
coworker: what’s for lunch?
me: [eating] food, generally
cw: no, I mean what are you having?
me: an unwanted conversation
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) March 4, 2016
The less they know the better
RAN INTO A COWORKER AT TARGET. DIDN’T WANT HER TO KNOW I WAS BUYING BABY CLOTHES FOR MY CAT SO I TOLD HER I’M PREGNANT
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) March 3, 2015
…at first I was afraid, I was petrified.
Just waiting to see how long until my coworkers realize that my robbery story is just the lyrics to Gloria Gaynor’s “I will Survive”.
— Woody (@WoodyLuvsCoffee) March 25, 2016
Not in the break room!
The problem with teaching a man to fish is that eventually somebody will microwave that fish in the work break room.
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) January 12, 2015
You ever look at one of your coworkers who’s stressing out and think “You really give a fuck about this job,huh? Wow.”
— Larry Beyince (@DragonflyJonez) December 16, 2014
Pig out guys!
Brings donuts to work because if I can’t be skinny neither can you.
— Miss Kerri (@kwirkyKerri) October 25, 2015
if u try to start a conversation with me while in the next door bathroom stall i will call the cops
— farah brook (@farahbrook) October 18, 2015