The 5 Types Of Conversations You Overhear At 3 AM In NYC

Katherine Ripley • April 21, 2016

It’s 3am in NYC. At this point, you’re either at a party, walking the streets trying to find another party, or perhaps calling it a night and catching the subway home. Maybe you’re already home. In any case, if you’re still awake at 3am, these are the five types of conversations you’ll overhear:

1. The “I’m Still In Love With My Ex” Conversation

Usually had by two drunk guy best friends while they’re waiting for the subway and no longer have to pretend to be all stoic and masculine in front of the other party guests. Possible that the ex was at said party. Possible that she was making out with another guy.

2. The “I’m So Over My Ex” Conversation

Usually had by buzzed girl best friends in a bar or at a party. Includes an itemized list of all the bullshit the ex has put her through. Usually followed by her aggressively hitting on the first hot guy she sees.

3. The “Rock Bottom” Conversation

Usually had between a friend who is so drunk they’re vomiting on the street or into the subway trash can and the unfortunate friend who got stuck taking care of them. Contains platitudes about needing to turn their life around. They’ll probably be doing the same thing next weekend.

4. The Argument

Usually heard through the thin walls of your apartment, had by the couple who lives next door. No amount of knocking or banging will get them to shut up. You’re forced to choose between the fall-out of calling the police, or not sleeping until they resolve their dispute.

5. The “I Miss You” Conversation

Three AM is prime time for missing someone. This conversation is always had on the phone. Could be had by a next door neighbor, or a random person in the bathroom at a party, or outside the bar or outside the subway station. Always on the phone. You always feel sorry for them, because we’ve all been there.

Cover photo credit: Jason Eppink/Flickr