We all love NYC, but lets put our pride to one side for a second. It’s time for some real talk. When it rains in a city of 8 million people it’s 100% more miserable than when it pours anywhere else. Here are the top 10 reasons we thing why it just sucks in NYC when it rains.
1. That unmistakable smell of wet dog/garbage
Ok, so it may not be as bad as that boiling urine and baked garbage smell in the summer, but you can’t deny it smells like a sewers rectum outside.
2. The wind either turns your umbrella inside out… or it wants to turn you into Mary Popins.
Really, if you can’t make a damned umbrella that can survive the rain… then you should re-think your career… or maybe stop selling them?
3. EVERY surface turns into a Slip ‘n Slide.
Oh yeah, laugh at someone else slipping, but know the Karma-Gods are just waiting to lay a smack-down on you.
4. The rain falls …SIDEWAYS? WTF NYC?
Aww… look at those guys trying to escape the downpour under a canopy… You must be new here.
5. OOOOh look there’s somewhere to buy an Umbrella… and you’ll only have to re-mortgage your house to get one!
Left your umbrella at home? Don’t worry about it! Umbrella vendors will materialize from the ether to gouge the F out of your wallet to buy an umbrella that will have a lifespan of exactly 10 seconds.
6. Sorry, cabs are officially on the endangered species list.
Trying to get a cab? You may as well be looking for rocking-horse sh*t.
I hate everything and everyone right now.
8. Having to sit though a meeting, date or social gathering in wet clothes
Oh, no! Honestly, I’m fine. I’m just a little damp. (Read: “Don’t p*ss me off right now, you’re dancing with danger”)
9. You escape the rain into a nice warm environment. Your hair turns into steel wool!
Get me some hair conditioner, stat!
10. Puddles lie
Yeah, that’s not too dee…
11. NOTHING is as ugly as rain wear
Forget dressing to impress. Good luck in that important meeting looking like the Michelin Man
Featured image source [Wikimedia Commons]