The heat has let up a little, but summer is still in full swing, and you can still work up a sweat walking around the corner to get your lunch. Here are the 10 types of people you might see on your way there, the 10 types of people you see in New York in the summer:
1. The sunbathers
You’ll find them lying about in Central Park, Washington Square Park, East River Park. It’s almost like they forgot they’re not really at the beach. Some wear itsy bitsy swimsuits and when you look at them from far away you actually think they might be completely naked.
2. The runners
Yes, people run year round, but you notice them more in the summer either because there are more of them, or because you’re especially disgusted by the mere thought of so much physical activity. Power to you if you can stand the heat, but stop making the rest of us look bad.
3. The stuffy Wall Street guys
Seriously dude, I think you could probably lose the jacket just from June to September. Or just keep it in your office so you only have to wear it for those really important business meetings, because the rest of us are sweating just looking at you.
4. The people who don’t have day jobs
On the opposite end of the spectrum you have these people. Of course, if you yourself have a day job you probably won’t see very much of them. They’re the ones who sit outside eating brunch at 10:30am and get in line for the Shakespeare in the Park tickets at noon on a Monday.
5. The tourist from a cold climate
Probably came to New York looking to go to the beach as part of the package, but then they’re surprised when they’re standing in the middle of Manhattan and they can’t find it.
6. The tourist from a hot climate
They might be wearing an I ❤️ NY sweatshirt when 85 degrees outside.
7. The splashers
People in fountains—not just little kids, some are full-grown adults. And some fountains are obviously meant for recreational use but some definitely are not…
8. The Jersey shore kids just here for the day
They talk loudly and they walk slowly. Range in age from 15 to 20, here on pretty much every day of the week because school’s out at this point. Easily noticeable because the girls are wearing high-wasted jean shorts and crop tops and have perfectly flat-ironed hair.
9. The booze cruisers
The native New Yorkers who have enough money for recreational summer activities like booze cruises and outdoor clubbing. They’re probably the people who are drinking beers and whispering about their plans throughout the entire showing of that outdoor movie you’re at.
10. The ones who get out of the city whenever possible
Oh wait, you don’t see them, because they left. But if you ever see them while they’re in town, they’re probably looking very annoyed at all of the other types of people on this list.