‘Tis the season for romance, which is why we highly encourage the jilted lovers among us to name a rat after your ex in honor of Valentine’s Day.
Though NYC is surprisingly not the rattiest city in the U.S., rodents are practically our mascot, so this cathartic activity is strongly encouraged. (Especially if you have yet to name a roach after your ex at the Bronx Zoo this February.)
How to name a rat after your ex this Valentine’s Day
Popular sportsbook BET US is inviting scorned exes to find players and officially draft them onto their team for $15. You’ll even receive a personalized certificate to commemorate your Rat Roster player, making your disdain truly official. (Forwards, centers, and point guards are currently needed on the team, just FYI.)
Fill out the application on BET US by the big day itself (February 14th). You’ll also be prompted to share a cringe-worthy story about your former boo. From there, the best ex stories will be chosen for their rats to be drafted into the starting five — putting your ex’s bad behavior on display for all bball fans to see. Forget the NBA! And that Luka Dončić trade? We’re over it.
Should you want to go the romantic route on Cupid’s favorite day of the year, we’ve uncovered the best Valentine’s Day dinner reservations to book this year. And if you’re feeling a little blue on the big day, did you know you can let the tears flow in a private cry room? (Yes, really.)