This Crown Heights Restaurant Gave One Yelp Reviewer A Schooling In Sass

When Yelper Dan T submitted his review of Chisai Poké Bar he probably wasn’t expecting the establishments owners to deal out their own fair helping of retribution, especially in such a beautifully eloquent way.

Dan, a Yelper with over 7500 reviews under his belt, obviously thought the Chisai Poké Bar could use some advice when he offered this:

“We’ve walked inside this place twice, once when it was a sushi bar, then again after it pathetically pivoted to meet the poke fad, and it stunk on both visits, The Door was too spring loaded on our return, but we were offered water while we (the only customers) awaited our pickup order, and the food was at least mediocre for the standard.”

While Dan left his not-so shining review and went on about his day, the Chisai’s staff had a discussion had a meeting. As explained in the reply, the Chisai has a policy not to react to yelp reviews.

We can only assume it was Dan’s use of the word “pathetic” with regards to the establishments pivot to a poké bar that triggered their response. As they explain in the opening of their statement:

We were taken aback by your use of the word “pathetically” in your comments about us pivoting our business model. Since we shifted our focus from sushi rolls to Poké bowls, we have been able to generate 6 full time jobs for members of the Crown Heights community.

After the opening paragraph they went on the offensive:

In fact, when you mention the word “pathetically”, we can’t help but visualize you sitting in front of your computer or phone crafting over 7500 yelp reviews. We did some quick math, and based on an average review time of 8 minutes (could be conservative), you have spent around 1000 hours writing reviews that no one but yourself and the small business owners you critique will read. That’s nearly 6 months of a full time (40 hour per week) job writing reviews that you are not being compensated for, or improving to any sort of skill set.

But not without compassion and a slice of inspiration they ended things on a somewhat positive note:

Our suggestion to you is to get away from this dark, dark rabbit hole you have jumped down. Just think about the fact that you have spent nearly 6 months adding zero value to your career. Start putting the same effort and focus on a craft or skill set that will get you away from your social networking, and start working towards career goals that will bring you happiness and fulfillment.

Here is the full: (or check out the real deal on yelp HERE)