As Valentine’s Day rapidly approaches, it seems that love and loathe are both equally in the air.
From just-because flowers and names doodled in margins of planners, to soul-crushing situationships and deleting and redownloading your dating apps for the thousandth time, New York is a place filled with both versatility and a great deal of shared experience.
One of the few silver linings of dealing with the aforementioned situationships—or even lingering exes—is that they can, oddly enough, distract you from one of New York’s most persistent and equally revolting inhabitants: roaches. It’s surprisingly hard to focus on the creepy crawlers skittering across a subway platform when your mind is otherwise occupied with the audacity of people you once invested your time and energy in.
And if your heart happens to be wrapped up with someone special? Well, you’re probably too busy texting your partner, cheeks flushed with a blush, to spare a glance at the grimy ground.
Either way, weather for better or for worse, what better way to thank your beau, ex-beau, or beau-of-complication, than with the very thing they’ve kindly distracted you from? For those experiencing the latter, or whose beloved has a sense of humor, have we the Valentine’s Day experience for you.
Enter the Bronx Zoo’s Valentine’s tradition that’s equal parts sweet, silly, and utterly unforgettable: naming a roach. Yes, you read that right—Madagascar hissing cockroaches can now be christened in honor of your loved or loathed one, complete with a personalized certificate to commemorate the occasion.
When positive, it’s a gift that says you notice the little things, you appreciate the unexpected, and you’re not afraid to share a laugh together—because love, much like roaches, has a way of enduring in the most surprising places. When it’s not all sunshine and rainbows, well, do we even have to elaborate?
On their website, the Bronx Zoo says:
You don’t always have the right words, but you can still give them goosebumps. Name a Roach for your Valentine, because roaches are forever.
🪳 Choose your roach-mantic package
The experience includes 3 tiers with varying levels of involvement and presentation.
- The “Original” Digital Certificate – $15: Name a Bronx Zoo Madagascar hissing cockroach for your loved one. Includes a digital certificate—the classic name-a-roach gift.
- Valentine’s Virtual Encounter – $35: Enjoy a romantic virtual experience with a Madagascar hissing cockroach and a surprise animal guest. Chat live with experts and receive a digital certificate.
- Mystery Box – $70: The ultimate roach-tastic gift package! It includes two mystery roach-themed gifts (possible items: roach socks, beanie, cross-body bag, plush, or tumbler) a printed certificate with your roach’s name, and a live Valentine’s Virtual Encounter on Feb 13th, 14th, or 15th with a Madagascar hissing cockroach and a surprise animal guest.
So this Valentine’s Day, whether you’re swooning, recovering, or somewhere in between, give a gift that’s equal parts heart and hilarity. Happy early Valentine’s Day, New Yorkers! One thing is for certain: you’re our valentine, this year and every year.
For more information about Name a Roach, see the Bronx Zoo’s official website.