There are lots of reasons to love our great city in the summer. Rooftop bars are back in full swing, the parks are pleasant, there are plenty of free things to do… But it’s hard to think about that when you’re on the subway and you don’t know if the sweat on your hand is yours or someone else’s.
1. The walk down into the fiery pit of hell (the subway).
2. When the hot, steamy breeze from the platform melts your soul…
3. …And you accidentally breathe it in.
4. You’ll always stand next to the smelly guy.
5. Hell – everyone on the subway becomes the smelly guy.
6. You can’t even tell if the stench of sweat is coming from your own pits or the ones an inch from your face.
7. But you KNOW that moisture on the central pole wasn’t from you.
8. Because you accidentally touched it…
9. When you finally arise out of the depths of the subway, you’re met with more heat.
10. And that steamy breeze from the grates gets you again on the street.
11. Don’t expect to get any fresh air.
12. The city stinks of hot garbage.
13. Your scorching clothes probably stink of hot garbage.
14. Rooftop brunches always seem like a good idea…
15. Until the close proximity to the sun burns your scalp.
16. And that’s after you waited in the 3,000,000 hour long queue.
17. Trying to find a space in Bryant Park for lunch is like trying to find an iced coffee for under $3.
18. People suddenly think it’s totally cool not to wear clothes.
19. (And you realise you’re just jealous… as you sweat in your work outfit).
20. The air con in your office is too cold.
“It’s getting hot in here, so everyone put on more clothes while I crank the AC up way too high.” – If Nelly managed an office building
— Comedy Central (@ComedyCentral) 18 July 2013
21. Or it’s not working at all.
22. But the AC machine is still capable of dripping water. Right above your head.
23. You know that feeling when you peel your sticky flesh off a chair? Yeah…
24. More foolish tourists clog up Manhattan in the summer, thinking coming now was a good idea.
25. The High Line becomes a spot for some major on-foot road rage.
26. After walking more than a block your feet look like hot, swollen lobsters.
27. Random summer downpours of rain ruin your trip to the park.
28. And when you finally get in, you remember that your tiny apartment has no windows…
Feature image credit: Creative Commons/Flickr/Guian Bolisay