Out of towners just don’t get it. But you have to visit, it’s the holidays after all. Sadly the conversations are ever so predictable. Here are the questions your Non-NYC will ask you this year.
Leaving the city for a holiday can be a strange, surreal experience …and it’s not just about not seeing rats, short buildings, and clean air. When you go from a sprawling metropolis like New York City, to a Christmas meal with your folks, things get a little uncomfortable. When you’re the only person from NYC at the table, the script goes something like this:
Q: How was it getting here?
A: Have you seen New York Penn Station at this time of year?
Q: Are you still living in that dump?
A: Yeah…the cockroaches send their love.
Q: What’s with all the rats I’m hearing about?
A: Don’t worry about it, it’s just an urban legend, like alligators in the sewers.
Q: All the attacks recently! Is really safe there?
A: I’m a New Yorker now, I can handle it.
Q: How are you managing the rent? It’s really expensive, right?
A: Are you offering to help?
Q: Have you found a “real” job yet?
A: Look, someday my podcast/lifestyle blog/photography career will really take off! …OK?!?!
Q: Did you see the tree lighting in Rockefeller Center?
A: No. Too many people
Q: Did you go ice skating there?
A: No. Too long to queue
Q: Did you go to SantaCon?
A: No. Too …just “too.”
Q: Are you going to see the ball drop on New Year’s Eve?
A: No, I like the ability to eat, drink and urinate without dealing with a hoard of people in my way.
Q: Maybe we could come visit you in January?
A: How about, no.
Q: Do you think you’ll ever move back home?
A: Don’t hold your breath.
Q: How’s your love life?
A: What love life?
Q: Haven’t you met ANYONE you like?
A: …I’m looking.
Q: Can I pack up some food to take home with you?