New Yorkers live in a fast-paced, amped up, high energy fantasy world. We might occasionally speak a language that no one else understands, and we might occasionally tell ourselves lies to justify our ridiculous life choices. For those of you who are new to the city, here’s a pocket dictionary of translations:
1. “We can walk there.” — It’s only 20 blocks.
2. “Do you have plans tonight?” — I don’t have any plans and I need some.
3. “There’s no cover. Let’s go!” — I’m drinking on a budget.
4. “The night is young!” — It’s only 1am!
5. “I get enough sleep.” — I get more sleep than I got during exam week in college.
6. “I’m gonna stop for coffee.” — This is my third cup today.
7. “I don’t know…I might stay in this weekend.” — I ran out of money on Wednesday.
8. “Did you get my text last night?” — Did you black out before or after 2am?
9. “I’ll meet you at 8.” — Let’s aim to meet at 8 but inevitably we’ll end up there at 8:45.
10. “I cooked last night.” — I microwaved ramen and mixed some vegetables in with it.
12. “I’m on a diet.” — I’m cutting food costs to save money.
13. “I think I’m gonna start running.” — I’m gonna run one block and be out of breath.
14. “I commute.” — I can’t afford to live here.
15. “My job pays pretty well.” — I only have to do two freelance jobs to pay the rent.
16. “My rent isn’t that bad.” — My faucet leaks and my toilet doesn’t work.
17. “My rent isn’t that bad.” — I live in an apartment with no AC and share a room with no window.
18. “My rent isn’t that bad.” — I can pay the rent but during the last week of every month I live on white rice and ramen.
19. “My rent isn’t that bad.” — I live way out in Brooklyn/Queens.
20. “I live in Brooklyn/Queens.” — No one ever wants to pregame at my place.
21. “My apartment isn’t that small.” — I at least have room to put on pants in the morning.
23. “He’s doing consulting.” — Nobody knows what he does but he still makes more money than all of us.
24. “He’s in film.” — He’s living paycheck to paycheck but he’s chasing his dreams.
25. “I love New York.” — I hate the high prices but I love everything else.”