Today is one of those days where you swear you’ve never sweat so much in your life. And it’s going to be hot hot hot again tomorrow too. If you don’t have air conditioning because you’re too broke, or if your AC doesn’t work also because you’re too broke, you might have to get creative in order to cool off. Here are some recommendations:
1. Put ice packs in your fanny pack.
2. Stick your head in the fridge case at Duane Reade.
3. Visit the ice age section of the Natural History Museum.
4. Rent a boat in Central Park and then “accidentally” tip it over.
5. Ride the 6 all the way to Parkchester and then ride it back to City Hall. Repeat.
6. Stay in Macy’s all day pretending to shop. Or actually shop, if you want.
7. Go see a double feature in the cheap Brooklyn movie theater.
8. Jump in a fountain.
9. Stow away in an ice cream truck.
10. Go waterskiing behind a ferry.
11. Find a street clown to squirt you with his flower.
12. Your hot water doesn’t work anyway, right? Take cold showers.
13. Take a break from your mascotting for a day.
14. Dip your feet in the water of the Met’s Zen garden.
15. Get a smoothie.
16. Do the ice bucket challenge.
17. Spend the day in the library. And read a book while you’re there.
18. Visit the zoo and hope an elephant will get close enough to spray you.
19. Visit the zoo and get a snowcone.
20. Have a water balloon fight.
21. “Work” overtime in your air conditioned office.
22. Babysit for a Park Avenue family with a well-air-conditioned home.
23. Eat their ice pops. They probably won’t notice.
24. Browse at the Apple Store.
25. Go topless—it’s legal in NYC.
26. Spend all day in a church. God won’t mind.
27. Swim to the Statue of Liberty.
28. Have a Frozen sing-along and imagine it’s really cold.
29. Go visit your friends at the Jersey shore.
30. It’s a cliche, but do the fire hydrant thing.