In The Face Of A Years Long Shutdown, Here Are 5 Alternatives To The L Train

Katherine Ripley • January 15, 2016

The latest miserable news in the world of MTA is that the L line between Manhattan and Brooklyn might have to be shut down for three years while workers repair the damage done on the underwater tube by Hurricane Sandy. Even though the project won’t begin until 2017, it’s never too early to start planning alternatives. Here are 5 that we came up with:

1. The G and/or M

MTA does have a plan to provide alternative service. They’re going to add two cars to G trains—which probably won’t help because the G is a joke—increase M service, and run a system of shuttle buses. How much do you want to bet the buses will be yellow school buses?

2. The East River Gondola

Which doesn’t exist yet. But if it did it would be a great alternative! This wacky idea was proposed by CityRealty president Dan Levy, and it would start by connecting the Williamsburg waterfront to downtown Manhattan, before expanding to other areas of the city. What are the chances of getting it up by 2017?

3. Lease A Car For Three Years

Driving in the city never looked like such a good option. We wouldn’t trust our alternative service plans to MTA, and we recommend you don’t either.

4. Become A Hermit

MTA can’t screw up your life if you never go anywhere. Get a freelancing job so you never have to leave your apartment. If your friends really love you, they’ll come to your place if they want to hang out with you.

5. Move to Dumbo

Or Park Slope, or Queens, or hell, go to Manhattan. It’s just as expensive as Williamsburg. You have one year to figure out where you can live so you won’t face transportation problems for the next three.

Cover photo credit: MTA/Flickr

Tags: Funny, News