If your invite to the cottage got lost in the mail–ours tragically did–we’ve found a new place to hang out with our favorite fictional couple, Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov…sort of.
Heated Rivalry, the beloved hockey romance currently living rent-free in so many of our minds, is getting the Off-Broadway treatment via an unofficial parody musical. Think: less locker room tension, more spotlight and tap shoes.
Apparently look alike contests, club nights, and trivia battles weren’t enough to contain our feelings for two lovers on skates–so naturally, the next escalation is Heated Rivalry: The Unauthorized Musical Parody.
If actual hockey was never really your thing–and still isn’t unless Hollander and Rozanov are facing off–consider this your formal invitation.
The show spins Broadway theatrics onto the series’ most iconic moments–sadly not performed by Connor Storrie and Hudson Williams themselves, but by “an incredible cast of Broadway actors who thought they were auditioning for season two.” The lineup includes:
- Jay Armstrong Johnson (Parade) as Ilya Rozanov
- Zachary Noah Piser (Dear Evan Hansen) as Shane Hollander
- Ryann Redmond (Bring It On The Musical, Frozen)
- Cherry Torres (Hamilton)
- Ryan Duncan (Titaníque, Shrek)
(Casting is subject to change for the Bell House run.)
According to the musical’s description:
With a pop-infused score of toe-tapping original songs, scene-stealing cameos by characters like Rose Landry and Ilya’s Ass, and time jumps that absolutely no one can keep track of, audiences will find themselves hot, bothered, and possibly saying, ‘…Girl!’ Because with love, sometimes it comes when you least expect it… and sometimes, it comes hands-free.”
The parody is written by Dylan MarcAurele, winner of the 2025 Jonathan Larson Grant and the 2023 Richard Rodgers Award, directed by Alan Kliffer, former Artistic Director of Asylum NYC and The Second City, and produced by Klif Entertainment.
A series of staged Off-Broadway readings kicks off this spring, starting at the Laurie Beechman Theater before heading to The Bell House in Brooklyn.
Heated Rivalry: The Unauthorized Musical Parody dates:
- March 14
- March 16
- March 17
- March 18
- March 23
- March 24
In other words: clear your calendar, stretch your vocal cords, and prepare to emotionally spiral in a theater seat. Because if loving this rivalry is wrong, we don’t want to be right. 🎤🏒💗