Anybody remember that Australian public service announcement video that was released 3 years ago? The “Dumb Ways To Die” song was meant to promote rail safety, but it’s just so catchy and so funny that everyone all over the world loved it. We made our own version: dumb ways to die in New York City.
1. Don’t stand behind the yellow line in the subway station.
2. Get heatstroke because you can’t afford air conditioning.
3. Work as unpaid intern until you starve to death.
4. Get bitten by a rabid subway rat.
5. Accidentally spray yourself with your pepper spray.
6. Actually walk the plank on a pirate-themed cruise.
7. Get lost in Macy’s and never return.
8. Get attacked by a hungry flock of Central Park pigeons.
9. Bang a broom on the ceiling to quiet your neighbors until the ceiling collapses.
10. Work three jobs and die from exhaustion.
11. Party every night of the week and die from exhaustion.
12. Suffocate from the smell of rotting garbage.
13. Let your arteries get clogged from ordering takeout pizza every night.
14. Get food poisoning from that Chinese place that you can’t believe is still operational.
15. Attempt to breakdance and crack your skull open.
16. Provoke a ferocious police dog.
17. Ride a bike with no helmet on a street with no bike lane.
18. Get stranded in Brooklyn 20 blocks from a subway stop.
19. Let your bladder rupture because you can’t find a place to pee.
20. Get trampled by a mob of tourists in Times Square.