31 Things You Need To Do In Order To Call Yourself A True New Yorker

If you haven’t done at least 75 percent of these things, you’re just a poser. These are part of the true NYC experience:

1. Live in an apartment with one of the following:

a) a perpetual plumbing problem

b) a mice or roach infestation

2. Install a window air conditioning unit without looking at the directions

3. Adopt an animal

4. Own a weird piece of art

6. Quit smoking

7. Take up smoking again

8. Drink and/or smoke on a rooftop or fire escape

10. And go to work the next day

11. Or take a day off just because you’re hungover

12. Get involved with a start-up in some capacity

13. Work late. Like at least 9pm.

14. Lose a shoe (or some other article of clothing) on a night out

15. Have a brief love affair with one of the following:

a) someone who is not the gender you’ve been attracted to your whole life

b) your boss

16. Have a chat with a stranger about life

17. Visit all the major museums

19. Go back to coffee

20. But only go to indie coffee shops

21. Vote

22. Learn all the words to a song about New York (Taylor Swift counts, but Frank Sinatra or Billy Joel would be better)

24. Talk shit about New Jersey

25. Stroll aimlessly through a park

26. Go to a grown-up Halloween party

28. Break up and live with your ex for a little while

29. Live with random people who you don’t know at all

30. Never go to Liberty Island

31. Never take this picture that tourists take:

Cover photo credit: Lei Han/Flickr