22 Sure-Fire Ways to Piss Off a New Yorker

Everyone knows that you do not want to piss off a New Yorker. Because if you do, you’ll be swimming with the fishes. Here are 21 things you should avoid doing, because they’re guaranteed to make a New Yorker angry:

 

1. Upstream to steal the taxi they wanted.

2. Don’t even stop your car while they’re in the crosswalk.

3. Get on the subway car before you let them off.

4. Pole hog.

5. Talk loudly on your cell phone on the subway.

6. Play your music so loudly that other people can hear it on the subway.

7. Propose building a pedestrian bridge to Jersey City.

8. Say or do anything good for New Jersey in general.

9. Cut them in line at Trader Joe’s.

10. Cut them in line to get into the club.

11. Cut them off.

12. Ask them one of these questions.

13. Replace the mayo with Miracle Whip.

14. Insist that the Devils are better than the Rangers.

15. Wear a Red Sox jersey in public.

16. Tell them you think Billy Joel is over-rated.

17. Tell them you thought [insert their favorite Broadway play] was stupid.

18. Take dumb tourist pictures.

19. Better if you make them selfies.

20. With selfie sticks.

21. Say you think [insert whatever breed of dog they have] are ugly.

22. Take your time ordering your coffee. There aren’t people who are already late for work behind you.

 

Cover photo credit: Jens Schott Knudsen/Flickr