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22 Sure-Fire Ways to Piss Off a New Yorker

Katherine Ripley Katherine Ripley •

22 Sure-Fire Ways to Piss Off a New Yorker

Everyone knows that you do not want to piss off a New Yorker. Because if you do, you’ll be swimming with the fishes. Here are 21 things you should avoid doing, because they’re guaranteed to make a New Yorker angry:

 

1. Upstream to steal the taxi they wanted.

[Louise Ma/WNYC]
[Louise Ma/WNYC]
2. Don’t even stop your car while they’re in the crosswalk.

[RomanKruglov/Flickr]
[Roman Kruglov/Flickr]
3. Get on the subway car before you let them off.

[Streets Blog]
[Streets Blog]
4. Pole hog.

[Richard Yeh/WNYC]
[Richard Yeh/WNYC]
5. Talk loudly on your cell phone on the subway.

[We Are The Public Sphere]
[We Are The Public Sphere]
6. Play your music so loudly that other people can hear it on the subway.

[Reuters]
[Reuters]
7. Propose building a pedestrian bridge to Jersey City.

pedestrian bridge cover

8. Say or do anything good for New Jersey in general.

miss piggy no

9. Cut them in line at Trader Joe’s.

[Ianqui Doodle/Flickr]
[Ianqui Doodle/Flickr]
10. Cut them in line to get into the club.

nightclub line

11. Cut them off.

[b k/Flickr]
[b k/Flickr]
12. Ask them one of these questions.

frank underwood

13. Replace the mayo with Miracle Whip.

[Edd Snowden/Flickr]
[Edd Snowden/Flickr]
14. Insist that the Devils are better than the Rangers.

rangersvdevils

15. Wear a Red Sox jersey in public.

[Sportz Writers]
[Sportz Writers]
16. Tell them you think Billy Joel is over-rated.

[Samira Khan/Flickr]
[Samira Khan/Flickr]
17. Tell them you thought [insert their favorite Broadway play] was stupid.

[Simon Jobling/Flickr]
[Simon Jobling/Flickr]
18. Take dumb tourist pictures.

[Doug Menuez]
[Doug Menuez]
19. Better if you make them selfies.

[Aleksandr Kalininskiy]
[Aleksandr Kalininskiy]
20. With selfie sticks.

[Jeffrey Zeldman/Flickr]
[Jeffrey Zeldman/Flickr]
21. Say you think [insert whatever breed of dog they have] are ugly.

[Petful]
[Petful]
22. Take your time ordering your coffee. There aren’t people who are already late for work behind you.

glacial pace

 

Cover photo credit: Jens Schott Knudsen/Flickr

Tags: Funny