The holidays are the time of year when your parents always want to visit, because the summer in New York is magical. Here are all the things they’ll probably say to you when they come:
1. The traffic was hell on our way here.
What did you expect?
2. Oh, what a cute apartment!
Wait for it…
3. Is…is there more?
Nope. This is it.
4. Oh well it’s very cozy.
Yeah that’s one way of putting it
5. Did you get a pet mouse?
Uhhh…yeah that’s Jerry.
6. There’s no food in this fridge!
Would you like to donate some?
7. When was the last time you cleaned this bathroom?
Did I ever clean the bathroom when I lived with you?
8. Your windows have no bars!
We’re six stories up…
9. What’s in here?
No don’t open tha— *crash*
10. Did you get the care package I sent?
Not in this apartment building.
11. We’re going to walk all the way there?
Would you like to pay for a taxi?
12. How many more blocks?
I add one every time you ask that.
13. Here’s the subway!
That’s uptown. We need downtown.
14. Is there a bathroom in here?
15. Crowded, huh?
Thanks, Captain Obvious.
16. So when are we going to meet Alex?
We broke up.
17. Do you think you’ll come home to visit soon?
Don’t hold your breath.
Cover photo credit: Bex Walton/Flickr