There are all types of people in New York, all with different opinions. But there are certain things that we can all agree on. Here are 13 of them:
1. Pick up your dog poop
NYC people are usually pretty good about this, but there’s nothing worse than when you’re trying to have a nice picnic lunch in the park and you suddenly realize you’re sitting in dog crap. Just pick it up, people.
2. Stay. To. The. Right.
Or prepare to get trampled by the mob of people who just got off the subway and actually follow the rules about which side of the staircase to use.
3. Passengers get off first
Let people get off the subway before you get on, or be prepared to get body checked by a huge person who’s pissed that you’re not doing it right.
4. This is what makes a good bagel/pizza
We might have the highest standards of any city when it comes to pizza and bagels. But since ours are the best, those standards are very well justified.
5. MTA will screw you over when you need them most
On the day that you really need to be on time for that important meeting where you try to impress your boss and possibly get a promotion, the Q train just ghosts you.
6. City taxes suck
Benjamin Franklin said only two things in life are inevitable: death and taxes. But he didn’t say anything about NYC taxes on top of your federal and state. Ugh.
7. We don’t need that $2.5 billion streetcar
If this is what that extra tax money is going to, there are going to be a lot more people who start changing their addresses to make it seem like they live with their parents upstate.
8. This city could really use more bathrooms
Is that too much to ask?
9. Tourists are the most annoying people
They walk too slowly, they take selfies in the middle of the sidewalk, they ask questions you don’t feel like answering. Next time, try pulling one of these jokes on them.
10. Avoid Times Square
And Rockefeller Center, and the Statue of Liberty—all the places where all the tourists are. It’s just not worth it.
11. The Patriots are the worst
Every year that the Patriots don’t win a Super Bowl is a good year.
12. We’re better than New Jersey
We all know what side we’re on in the New York-New Jersey rivalry.
13. We’re lucky to live here
This is one of the most expensive cities in the world. If you didn’t like it here, you wouldn’t be here. So be thankful every day that you live in this awesome place.
Cover photo credit: Richard Ricciardi/Flickr