When you first moved to NYC, you were aware of the challenges set before you, and you accepted them. But there are certain things about this city that you probably weren’t prepared for. Here are 13 lessons you had to learn the hard way:
1. There’s not always an underpass to the downtown side
Say goodbye to another $2.75.
2. No subway station has a bathroom
Even if you just went 10 minutes ago, always go before you leave the bar.
3. A “good deal” on an apartment means it’s probably infested with something
Unless you entered a lottery to get a cheap apartment, a low price is always actually too good to be true.
4. No offer—no matter how good it sounds—will save you money on your utility bills
Don’t believe the people with the clipboards who knock on your door. They’re all liars.
5. Sometimes, Raid doesn’t work
The only way to make sure a cockroach is dead is to step on it or flush it.
6. If you don’t bring your umbrella, it will rain
And if you bring it, it won’t. Your choices are to carry an umbrella all day, or to spend seven bucks on a new one.
7. Chivalry is dead
Ladies, unless you’re pregnant, no man is going to give up his subway seat to you.
8. There is NEVER a cop around when you need one
They hang out in droves by City Hall or Barclay’s Center with assault rifles, but if there’s an aggressive creep on the subway, none in sight.
9. Express trains don’t run nights and weekends
If you’re trying to take the 5 to Brooklyn at midnight, you’re in for an interesting transferring adventure.
10. Drastic subway changes are routine
“Good morning. The A is running on the F line, there are no B trains south of Columbus Circle, and the L shut down ahead of schedule. Good luck getting to work on time for your presentation!”
12. You have a choice between sticking to your budget and having a life
You knew it would be expensive, but you didn’t know it would be this expensive. Every $5 you spend to take the subway to go somewhere is $5 you could be spending on lunch from the bodega
13. Making friends is hard
You’d think that it would be easy because there are 8 million people here, but as it turns out, most of them just aren’t friendly.
Cover photo credit: Alan Turkus/Flickr