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13 Things New Yorkers Are Sick Of Hearing

By Katherine Ripley

13 Things New Yorkers Are Sick Of Hearing

Don’t these things just make you roll your eyes and want to give up?

 

1. “We are being held momentarily by the train’s dispatcher. We apologize for any inconvenience.”

[Runs With Scissors/Flickr]
[Runs With Scissors/Flickr]
That didn’t really seem like a heartfelt apology to me. I feel like you’re not really sorry.

 

2. “Service is suspended between West 4th Street, and Jay Street. As an alternative…”

[Jens Schott Knudsen/Flickr]
[Jens Schott Knudsen/Flickr]
I DON’T WANT AN ALTERNATIVE I WANT TO DO IT THE WAY I ALWAYS DO IT

 

3. “The bathroom is for employees only.”

squidward

Can’t you see I’m dying over here?!?!

 

4. “Sorry, the elevator is out of service.”

[The Read Deal]
[The Read Deal]
That’s okay. I’m due for a glute workout anyway.

 

5. “Did you see the Mets game last night?”

[Arturo Pardavila III/Flickr]
[Arturo Pardavila III/Flickr]
No, I promise to recite five Hail Mary’s for my penance

 

6. “Sorry, we’re out of pastrami.”

out of pastrami

Nooooooooo

 

7. “I’m going to raise your rent.”

table flip

Why don’t you just evict me right now?

 

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8. “I heard there’s a new gluten-free bakery on the Lower East Side.”

gag

Is it happiness- and joy-free too?

 

9. “It’s a thirty dollar minimum for cards.”

[BAMariana/Flickr]
[BAMariana/Flickr]
Well, then I’ll be taking my business…to your ATM.

 

10. “A woman was sexually assaulted in Williamsburg last night…”

olivia benson

When will this city be safe for women?!?!

 

11. “I settled Brooklyn.”

[Scott Heins/Gothamist]
[Scott Heins/Gothamist]
Please.

 

12. “Everybody stays. Everyone is working late tonight.”

 

baby falling asleep

Um…why did I not have a say in this matter?

 

13. “I’ve been thinking about moving.”

nyc weird things to do

Here we go again… We both know you’ll never leave this city.

 

Cover photo credit: WNYC/Flickr

Tags: Funny